A brave woman at Walmart

There was a woman in line next to Jeff and I at Walmart, with two young kids, probably 4 and 2 yrs old. The young boy had a pacifier in his mouth but was anxious to help his mother put the groceries on the counter. Jeff and I told him he was a good helper. He wanted nothing to do with us, a little bit shy. His mom smiled at us weakly and we focused on our items to be loaded.
There was a woman behind us that piped into the conversation.
"He is too old for that pacifier!" She stated.
The mother turned while her groceries were being scanned by the clerk and picked up her shy son who didn't want attention.
She said so bravely."I know, he was over his pacifier awhile ago but since his baby sister died last month I think he has needed the comfort." Her eyes looked haunted. It broke my heart into a million pieces.
"I lost a sister too, I am so sorry." I said to the mother and the shy boy and the sister wrapped around her legs. The looks on their faces said it all. Just breathing in and out and going through the motions.
So proud of her for being brave and standing up for herself.

For those who always have to dive into having an opinion about something that is not their business. Please stop, and for a moment  worry about your own problems.

Praying for that young mother and her family tonight, knowing her long road to healing will be rough, but those two lovely helpful children can hold her tight through the journey.

Journaling

Journaling:

The last three years of my life has seen a fall in my health, death to a few close family members a few habit changes and an increase in my anxiety levels. All of these things happen in life I have discovered. It's our job to go with the flow or get washed away.

For me writing was a way to think about things outside the struggle. When I couldn't eat without pain I could write as an escape. When the time for mourning was a heavy burden writing was something I could do to take my mind off the pain I was feeling but also the pain of everyone in my family.

Journaling has been a big part of healing for me. Fiction is fun and has it's ironic times where your mind uses your own  experiences and pain and lets the story go there sometimes without your permission as a writer. (I know it sounds crazy but it's true. I checked with other writers. It wasn't just me.)

Journaling is more personal, actually it's downright narcissistic. But... I have come to a conclusion, everyone needs a safe place to say "What about me?" - I believe that's why I need to journal, to write out all the crazy thoughts in my head that I can't always say. Then I can look over them and decide whats junk and what is worthy of keeping. I feel it's where I have had the toughest conversations with myself, with God. I sometimes even journal prayers. A pen can silently say a lot I have found.


Knowing the reader is only me is freeing. I try out book scenes and I think some of my best work came from a real place that started from my journal.

Because I have been writing so much I do a lot of journaling on my laptop. I have a Word and just use the insert date and time and start writing. The next time I just insert date again. One day I will have a 400 page monstrosity and will have to start a new file.

Goofy things I do with Journals:

For my book journals I love to fill them up with stickers. I do not scrapbook but I am addicted to buying stickers and decorating anything I want with them. :)  I have many filled journals and  notebooks that are full of thoughts and stickers. It makes me happy.

What do you love to journal about?