Sorrow is something to avoid.
We all want to escape sadness in any way we can. It's hard to find large stretches of time these days without sewing them back together with tears and prayer. Then the blanks spots show up where you feel like normality struck and you plan an evening as a family... american idol sounds fun and how about... "Booboo and Jonny come over to watch" is lingering on my lips.
Mourning the loss of my daughter's soccer coach and my Dad's adventure girl, my bible study partner and my Mom's tigger.
It's all feeling a little too real.
Lord please help us.
Prayer to my Abba: (Father God)
To me You Are...
My heart mender,
My dream maker,
The air I breath,
The music I sing,
The Peace in my confusion,
The author of my 2nd chances,
My reason to dance
The Wisdom when I need it,
The healer of my brokenness,
The Light in my dark places,
The forgiver of my flaws,
The mystery I ponder
The lover of my soul.
I will forever sing your praises.
“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness” (Isaiah 61:10).
Facing the world ... with a broken body and broken heart. As my family is coming down from the adrenaline of a whirlwind Christmas funeral it's hard to know what to do with myself. With a sprained ankle and bruised/broken tailbone , I know I need to focus on recovery. I am tempted every hour or so to lose my patience with my body. To be so immobile when I am desperate for a distraction is really frustrating.
I take turns praying for people in my life that are hurting, my mom & dad, my brother-in-law, and my brother .
I don't know if God has ever been closer to me. He is breathing for me, I think. My only prayer for myself has been pretty simple. "Oh Jesus please help me!"
Life starts back up tomorrow, husband to work and kid to school. It seems so huge a task but yet so simple.
My first day back to work will be hard, even tho it will be nice to have something to focus on. My sister's Ichat picture will be shadowed. It' s the little things that devastate us sometimes.
Looking forward to finding a song that makes me smile. Looking forward to losing the crutches. Just looking forward....
Leah Ort Banicki
~ Thanks to everyone praying for my family. All the encouraging notes and meals have really helped us through.