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2/23/2006

The waiting game!


Thrown into the wind.
That's how I feel a little. My recording, pictures, biography and passion has been handed over for others to peruse and critique. I believe in myself so I'm not afraid of the criticism but more just feel restless.
What a strange period of time has passed. This last summer was so much different from now. I spent the whole summer praying for a purpose, a mission. I had felt for over a year to be on the verge of something. I was singing a lot, but I felt I wasn't stretching myself. I know God always wants us to be striving to do more for his Kingdom but I had no idea what to do.
I am a firm believer in the theory of movement. Keep moving toward God and He will direct your steps. But I didn't have a vision for anything but just the keep on keepin on.
I had started a workout regimen to rebuild my previously injured back. I will admit that was slow going. (My performing took a major hit during the healing process. If walking up stairs is nearly impossible than performing with gusto was equaling challenging.) I wanted to get back in shape and be all I could be for God and my family. Day by day, little victories were taking place in my body but also my mind.
After a Joyce Meyer women's conference I turned my focus to freedom. I was free to be me. Free to make good choices, free to explore what I wanted to be as a performing singer. I came back from the conference in October '05 and took my prayer to a new level. Just praying for the will of God for me, my family and my church. I starting cutting things out of my life that I felt distracted me from living to my full potential. I began to realize that I was using projects as a way to feel like I was doing something useful, even if the projects weren't something I was good at or even liked doing.
As I pruned my life a clarity began to emerge. Some people get a dream that changes their life. I got a vision!
Explaining a personal vision is nearly impossible but I know that I know it's what I am meant to do. It was the same vision I had as a child but didn't know what it meant. Before I was confused about my next step but now, suddenly I knew what steps to take and what goals I needed to accomplish.
Humbled and grateful to the LORD I stepped out the next day and began the process of reaching my Vision. With my husband (Jeff) and a few wonderful supportive people I have completed the first steps to reach my goal. I pray the favor of God goes with my demo package and I am excited to see the harvest. Lord bring the rain!
I want to sing to broken people. To show them they matter to God. Time will tell how God wants me to do that.
I know some people believe what I am doing is selfish, or ridiculous but I know what I am doing is right.
Yes, being validated by man for my singing would be nice but my reputation with God is far more important to me.
He is my source!!
My success at this moment is in my confidence in God, the vision He has given me, and my willingness to obey.

If my life never changes, it wasn't because I was afraid to face the heat. To deal with the scoffers is part of the bargain. The greatest stories we tell are always people facing the opposition and pushing through. I want my life to be a great story!
Money, fame, spotlights and big stages...
I don't know if that is exactly what God has in mind.
People seeing a different view than the world offers. Having the ability to bless many.
Yeah I could handle it, with my feet facing the right direction.

me ----->God's will for me

Who knows what I am fully capable of doing with God's help. I bet He does! Maybe I'll just trust Him and let the future do it's thing. :)

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God is bigger than... The limitations we give him.

Leah Banicki

Jumping out of the box.







Perseverance is not a long race: it is many short races, one after another.
Walter Elliot

1 comment:

Patti said...

Hi Leah!
YOU GO GIRL! Follow HIS footsteps where ever they lead. Sing to heal broken souls - or rather, let HIM sing through you!!! Show the hurting HIS passionate love for them!!!
Love ya,
Patti