Wondering about Leah?

Started a new phase of my life doing something that I have loved since 3rd grade. Writing stories.
I have always been writing is some way or another between stories in school in every notebook I ever owned or songs in my music making days.

Adventure, romance, tragedy is just a few topics I would delve into. Keeping my stories in the realms of lifetime possibilities. Things I wish would happen or the what would happen if’s.

In college I had some goofy creative writing professor who hated my style and shared his prophecy with me that, “NO One will ever publish you because you write too straight forward and simple.” In that naïve 20 year brain I figured he was right and set aside my novel ideas and began songwriting.

A few heartaches later I was in need of a new start, something to rebuild Leah into a confident creative soul again. Fighting back depression with a big stick I got some inspiration from a self-publishing friend and found my desire to write reborn.

So now I am having a blast with a story I began years ago about the journey of a young woman, perhaps a bit wishful thinking about myself learning to face my dragons and get to my own authentic place.


So for those of you wondering if I just started writing out of the blue, I didn’t . It’s always been a passion of mine. I am just finally taking the time I have to put the stories down.
Learning the daily habits of novel writing has been a blast and I have great plans for the many ideas I have written down over the years. I hope my stories bless people and my characters feel like friends.

For the many friends and fans who are wondering when I will sing again please keep praying for me. I know I will get there, but for now just taking some time to build up my confidence again after a few bumps in the road. I am so thankful that my depression is getting better ever day, that God is giving me another chance to be creative and that I am finding my joy again.

Finding My Place

Spring always feels to me like a new beginning. After spending a year plus in depression, the last two weeks have felt miraculous as I am up and out and panic free (mostly). The huge insurmountable struggles are smaller now and faced day by day as I rediscover my purpose and find my voice.

I have been singing a little every day these last weeks. So much of who I am and my past is made from music and performing and to go a year without it was bizarre and changed me a little. I feel a little dusty. My voice sounds the same but I feel different about it. I guess I always had this magic number in my head that was the end of my singing career because I figured no one would ever take me seriously after I turned thirty. That came and went and I discovered more about my gifts and having so much fun writing and recording on my own that I thought perhaps I was wrong. There is no age limit to talent… Well I am afraid that old lie has snuck back in with a few friends, like insecurity and procrastination.

So here I am with my studio back together and starting on a new simple road. A little insecure and fearful but ready to face the world. I truly don’t know what I would do if God wasn’t with me on this, probably crawl back into a pit again.

It feels good to be honest about where I have been. I know many people have struggles with depression and live to tell about it. Its real and even Christians can be depressed. I learned in recovery that sometimes tragedy happens again and again and some people handle it differently than others. I felt God with me every step of the way, especially in the darkest days early on. He never left my side.

I am on assignment, sing some love songs and begin singing at weddings. I have been doing it for friends and family for years but now it’s a new day. I am trusting in God to help me to know His network is bigger than mine. I am leaning on him and putting my feet on a path to where he sends me. Singing has never paid my house payment before but stranger things have happened. Ready, set, go!

I am also secretly hoping to sing and write again; praying some inspired Christian musicians come my way and want to collaborate. That is truly the most fun thing ever, trust me …creating something from nothing and the harmony it makes is brilliant and magnificent.

Back to recording, friends keep praying for me please.

Leah Banicki

Aspen Paintings by Contemporary Aspen Artist Jennifer Vranes, Birch Trees, Lavender Fields, Poppies, JensArt

Aspen Paintings by Contemporary Aspen Artist Jennifer Vranes, Birch Trees, Lavender Fields, Poppies, JensArt

Broken Songbird

When I was six years old I had a vision of my future. I didn’t understand it fully but I kept it close to my heart. It’s been my life’s dream to see that vision fulfilled.

I am a simple girl. Love, hope, compassion – these are the things I am made of. I always thought that when I sang it was more than just words coming out of me but a blessing or hope to someone who needed it. I had a secret wish that people felt loved when I sang for them. I think the dreamer in me still believes that.


The more people I come to know the more I have found that a dreaming heart draws many arrows. Why is that? What makes a dreamer such a threat? The stories we have heard from childhood are happy endings that do not prepare us for the real wolves of the world. The dragons with teeth and nasty words and ball bats hiding behind fake smiles… they are real and they hurt people. They hurt me…

Where is the Cinderella story that is more realistic? She gets locked in the tower for ten years and escapes only after the Prince has stopped looking for her and moved on. Her youth gone and no one knows that she exists. I never heard that version. Where does she go from there? Can she find hope after her dreams are shattered? Does she hang on to her dream or except the reality of the new world she’s in, no big rainbow weddings and fairies to bless her? Hope seems downright dangerous then doesn’t it? The realistic friend will be standing next to her whispering, “Be realistic, being a maidservant ain’t so bad.”

Being in a hard time myself I have had to ask for help. Begging family and friends to help us out of trouble. I was shocked to find so many people struggling to eat and pay basic bills. Smart, hard working people, who don’t deserve what has happened to them. I feel like the world around me is collapsing like a house of cards.

What does a broken songbird do to help anyone when she can’t seem to help herself?

I am torn between several actions at the moment.
a. crying ‘woe is me’ and crawling into a pit
b. wishing I had the strength to sing some love on people and believing it still worked
c. become a realist and be content to put my dream away forever
d. begging God for mercy on the hurting people of the world

I have already tried (a) without success but maybe I’ll probe further into the others and share my findings.

Desperately seeking harmony,

Leah Michelle Banicki

Romantic men

Doing research for my book. It's summer and I have a nasty cold. To cheer myself up I decided to find a leading man for my romance novel. I am calling it "Oregon trail" for now, working title only. A young girl becomes widowed on the Oregon trail and finds inner strength and love in the frontier. (basic summary)

I browsed through hundreds of old photos to find inspiration for my male love interests. Found lots with icky beards... i like beards but these were long!

Here are some picks that had potential.

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So what do you think? Kept my mind off of being sick. It would interesting to know what you think is handsome. Send pics...

leah banicki